Open Up Your Worried World And Let Me In
by pen.paper.green.day
Summary: How can anyone trust anyone with their heart?" An idea that I had and had to write. Song-fic, sorta. I own nothing. USA has control over all that shizz. Complete.
1. Trusting

"_**Open Up Your Worried World And Let Me In"**_

_**Chapter 1 "Trusting"**_

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[I deleted this and reposted it after noticing some typos that annoyed me. Sorry for any inconvenience.]

Mary watched her witness Tasha with sympathetic eyes as she cried on the bed, wrapped up in blankets, as if they were giving her a comforting hug. Serge, who Marshall had shown a bout of badass-ness cuffing and dragging out, had definitely broken this girl's heart And, Mary knew, that sort of thing would take a while to heal. Maybe it never would, not completely.

"How can anyone trust anyone with their heart?" Tasha asked, her tear-filled eyes boring holes into Mary's, searching, pleading for an answer.

Mary felt her heart sink as she realized that she didn't have one. It was a damn good question, one that she had often asked herself. Mary had never trusted anyone with her whole heart, but lately she had been considering it, with the one person she thought would, and _could_ keep it safe. But that was neither here nor there.

"I don't know. I wish I did." she replied honestly, and regretted that she didn't have a better answer for her distraught witness.

Tasha tore her gaze away from Mary's and looked down, tears streaming. Mary helped her get dressed, but neither woman spoke. Mary figured Tasha needed her space, and Tasha didn't seem to want to talk. But, once dressed, Tasha did ask what was going to happen next.

Mary started to explain how Serge would be handled, but Tasha insisted that she didn't care about Serge. Mary smiled a little, proud of the woman in front of her. She'd heal quickly enough. Mary explained how she'd have to be relocated, with a new Marshal and name. Tasha took it pretty well, Mary thought. So long as silence was a good thing.

From outside came the sound of Marshall taking Serge to the SUV, and both women went to the window, gazing down at men they had trusted (or were considering trusting) with their hearts.

Mary left with Marshall and Serge in the SUV, leaving Tasha to pack and think things over on her own. Marshall drove, and Mary could tell by his white knuckles and stony face that he was still pissed at Serge, who kept protesting and complaining in the backseat.

At a red light, Mary gently put a hand on Marshall's arm to try and calm him down. His head whipped around to look at her, and she smiled encouragingly at him. He let out a sigh, and half-smiled back, getting the _"Take a chill pill" _message.

But then Serge picked that moment to yell "But you don't understand! I really do love her!"

Mary's bullshit-o-meter went berzerk, and so did Marshall.

"Oh, the hell you do! You lied to her, you cheated on her, you used her to make money by filming the two of you in the bedroom! Not only is that disgusting in itself, but what if someone from Tasha's past had seen her online? They'd find her in no time flat! So don't you dare say that you love her! You don't treat someone you love like that! You-"

"Marshall?"

"-stand by them, help them when they need it, and even when they don't or don't want you to, you-"

"Marshall!"

"What?!" Marshall looked at Mary expectantly.

"The light's green." Mary said softly.

Marshall stepped heavy on the gas, and pulled into the parking lot of a nearby 7-11, and continued his rant.

"You have to actually show affection in ways besides sex. With your words, for instance. But you should damn well mean what you say! Think of someone other than yourself, put their problems first for once. Keep them safe, make them feel wanted, needed. Just fucking treat them right! Tasha didn't deserve to be led on like that, and neither did those other women. I can't believe I ever defended you, you sack of shit!"

Mary glanced at Serge, who looked very much put in his place, then back at Marshall, who was breathing heavily and looking like he had more to say.

"Marsh, we should get going." Mary said tentatively, without realizing it using the nickname that she had mentally given Marshall, but as a rule had never used out loud.

He sighed. "Yeah, okay."

As Marshall slowly calmed down on the ride to WITSEC, Mary watched him, deep in thought.

She was well aware of Marshall's feelings for her. And she knew that if she let herself, she could easily fall for him just as hard. But she hadn't been sure if she could trust him with her heart, which had been bruised so many times before. She was afraid of it finally breaking, and afraid of breaking his on top of that.

She just wasn't sure. Until now. Now she knew that yes, Marshall Mann was definitely someone she could and would trust her heart with. He'd keep it safe, just like he did all he could to keep her safe everyday.

He glanced at her and smiled weakly.

She smiled back and thought, _Okay Mary, here comes the hard part. Opening up._


	2. Opening Up

**I forgot to mention it before, but this is basically a song-fic, I'm just gonna post the lyrics at the end of the last chapter, though. I got the name and the inspiration from the song "One For The Razorbacks" by Green Day. The song is from Marshall's point of view, while the fic is from Mary's. [not sure if I like this chapter as much as the first, but hey, it's longer.]**

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Mary didn't have much time to think about opening up her heart to Marshall over the next few days, seeing as she was beaten and kidnapped, not to mention almost raped and killed.

But as she thought about it now, sitting in the living room of her dilapidated house, she found it rather ironic. Just when she had finally made the decision that it was time to open herself up, this happens, making her more closed off than ever.

But this was Marshall. Her best and only friend. She had t open up to him, even if only about the events in that basement, and not the happenings of her heart. Which was why, while Jinx and Brandi were thankfully gone for the day, she asked Marshall to come over. She knew that she might not be ready to expose herself (no dirty pun intended), but she also knew that if she didn't do it now, she never would.

She nearly jumped out of her skin at the sound of a knock at the door, and cursed herself for her shot nerves. She went to the door, and took a deep breath before opening it. There stood Marshall, his ocean blue eyes clouded with concern. She didn't think that the worried and perturbed look had left his face since the incident.

"What's up?" he asked quickly, before she even had a chance to say hello.

"I just wanted…to talk. And honestly, I'm a little lonely." she admitted, looking down at her feet.

"Where's Jinx? Or Brandi?" Marshall asked, sounding like he was annoyed that they weren't there for her.

Mary snorted. "Gone, thankfully. They're not very good company."

Mary let him inside, and the two of them walked into the living room.

Marshall looked around at all the destruction the FBI left behind and muttered "Christ, Mary…", so low she almost didn't hear it.

"It's not as bad as it was." she insisted, as she remembered all the chaos and debris.

"Yeah. Yeah, I remember how it was." Marshall was still staring, looking more than a little pissed.

Mary took a seat on a part of the couch that hadn't been torn open, and watched him walk around the room, muttering and cursing to himself.

When he finally stopped, and turned to look at her instead, she blurted out "Did you read the file?", avoiding his gaze.

"Huh?" Marshall sounded confused at the sudden question.

"The file. You know, the one with my statement. Did you… did you read it?" she asked, looking into his eyes for just a second before looking away again.

Marshall shook his head. "No, I… I didn't want to. I mean, I want to know what happened, but… I'm afraid to know, honestly."

Mary just nodded, thinking over his words and staring at the floor. Marshall came over and sat next to her, but made sure not to touch her. Mary hated the fact that she appreciated the action. She hated feeling so detached from him, and everything else for that matter.

"Is… is that what you wanted to talk about? What happened?" Marshall asked softly.

His tone was so caring, so wary of her emotions that she wanted vaguely to cry. All she wanted to do was throw her arms around him, kiss him and tell him that she loved him back, and him being there to save her had been what made her positive of that fact, and that his little speech to Serge in the car had just about melted her heart because she knew that he was describing his feelings about her; but there was this…_thing_ holding her back. It was constricting her, controlling her thoughts and actions, making her want to crawl into a hole and hide for a millennium. And that was so unlike her that she wanted to scream.

"Because we don't have to, not if you're not ready. I won't read the file either, until you're ready for me to know. I promise."

She turned to look him in the eye, and this time made herself keep her gaze locked there. "I don't know if I'll every be ready, Marshall, but I know that I have to tell you."

"No you don't, not if it's going to hurt you." he insisted, his hand moving as if to touch hers, but he pulled it back.

Suddenly aggravated, Mary clasped her hand with his firmly and said "Marshall, I'm damn near numb now! Telling you isn't going to do shit to my fucked up psyche, okay?"

He stared in shock and nodded. "Okay. If you say so, Mare."

"I do say so." she said firmly. She paused to take a deep breath and continued.

"I have to tell you. I might not want to talk about it, but… You're Marshall. My best friend. My everything. If I didn't tell you… It just wouldn't be right." She looked down at their clasped hands, a little embarrassed at the "my everything" bit.

With a sigh, she looked back up into his eyes,locking her gaze there, and began her story.

"Okay, so… I called you, and told you that I thought my mom was a prostitute, and then I noticed that this car had been tailing me. So I got its plates and then I went into that theater that Jinx was hanging around. She was singing, and doing a lot better than I ever thought she could. But when she saw me, she went a little nuts, and kept saying that I was ruining everything for her, and that I'm only happy when her and Brandi are miserable, as if that was my mission in life, to make them suffer. Anyway, I get a call from that prick from the FBI, and while I'm talking to him as I head back to my car… these two guys jumped me. One, he… he came at me from behind with chloroform. I'm pretty sure I broke his nose, though. It was hard to tell. Everything went fuzzy, and I know this sounds crazy, but I think I saw a monster just before I blacked out."

Mary paused, and mused that the monster was probably just from the mural on the wall, but still. It was frightening. When Marshall said nothing, she continued.

"When I woke up I was in that basement, in a chair and chained to a pole. They hadn't taken my backup, so I tried to see if I could reach it. I could, but then I realized: what was the use? I couldn't use it if I wanted to. I put it back and then they dragged Chuck in. Spanky called Brandi and made her pick which one of us would pay for her mess-up. I don't know what she said, but Spanky chose for her. He shot Chuck. No warning, no nothing. And all I could do was scream. It could've been me. So easily it could've been me. He gave Brandi a time limit to bring the drugs, but naturally she didn't show up. Then they found out I'm a Marshal. I guess we can blame FBI Man for that. Um, then…"

She stopped, not sure if she could continue. Marshall gave her hand a little reassuring squeeze. She sighed, and because she didn't want to talk about it any more than she already had, finished quickly, "Long story short, the one whose nose I broke decided that before he killed me, he'd have some fun with me first. I'm sure you catch my drift. I got loose, and shot him. Five times. Close range. Then I hear people coming down the stairs, and I nearly knocked Stan out with a shovel. And then you were there, holding me, and I finally felt safe again."

Marshall's grip on her hand had tightened at the last portion of her story, and his face was set in a furious and anguished expression.

"Marsh?" she asked uncertainly. He wasn't normally so quiet, even when she was controlling the conversation.

He let go of her hand and muttered "Jesus, Mary."

He stood up and began to pace the room, and Mary replied "Joseph." jokingly, with a slight chuckle.

He turned to face her, looking incredulous.

Mary winced. This was not the time for jokes. Not when Marshall had tears he probably didn't notice starting to fall down his cheeks.

What happened next, Mary didn't expect.

Marshall strode over to her, dropped to his knees, and rested his head on her lap, borderline sobbing. That, and the emotional toll of telling him that she had been nearly raped was more than enough to make her cry as well.

_Apparently, opening up has its costs._


	3. Let Me In

**I do not own anything In Plain Sight or Green Day related. [well, I do own Green Day cd's... nevermind.] Last chapter, I really hope it doesn't suck.**

Mary imagined that if anyone happened to walk into her tattered living room at that moment, they'd walk right back out again, not wanting to intrude on the tear-fest her and Marshall were currently having.

Even as she cried, she stroked his hair in a comforting manner, for once being the shoulder (or lap) to cry on. It was a little refreshing, no matter how utterly and completely fucked up the circumstances were. It was a rare occasion for Marshall to need comforting over anything, and she was more than willing to oblige.

He suddenly lifted his head, tear-filled eyes staring at her and said "I swear, Mary, if I had known sooner, I'd have _destroyed_ him. Slowly. So slowly he'd think it was a career. I just hope they give him the chair. It's the best I can dream for."

Mary didn't have to ask to know that he was talking about Spanky. "Marsh, relax. He's been put away, there's no more you can do. You-"

"I can't relax, Mare. How can I? You're _my_ everything. And I almost lost you. What the hell am I supposed to do if I can't keep you safe one day and I lose you for real? Honestly, I think I'd kill myself."

Mary rolled her eyes, despite the tears still falling from them, and said "Don't exaggerate, it's bad for your complexion."

"Mare, this is no exaggeration. I know it makes me sound all pathetic and codependent, but I honestly don't think I can manage with you not around."

Mary sighed. "I know. Same here. That's another thing I wanted to talk about. Um…"

Mary, who had momentarily gone back to being her normal sarcastic self, reverted back to the quiet detached Mary she had become. She looked down, away from his piercing gaze.

He gently lifted her chin and said "Hey, where did you go? C'mon, Mary. I can't be a part of this conversation if I don't know what it's about."

Mary stared at him, shocked. "You just called me Mary." she said, sounding amazed.

"Yeah… That's your name."

"But you never say it to me. It's always 'Hey you", or 'Mare', but never Mary. Whatever, that's not the point. The point is… oh Christ, this seemed so much easier a minute ago."

Marshall took her hand in his, and said quietly "It never ceases to amaze me the way your mind works. But you gotta let me in, tell me what this is all about."

Mary just stared at their linked hands, conflicted. A part of her, the part that was detached and wounded, wanted to just say never mind, she didn't think she could talk about it yet.

And he would back off. Because that's how Marshall was.

But another part of her, the part that had wanted to hold him and kiss him earlier, forced her to trudge on. "Okay. First thing… I'm gonna have to ask you a question. Cause I don't want to make a fool out of myself."

"Okay, shoot." he said brightly, and she knew that he'd answer any question she had for him to the best of his ability.

"How come you… that is… why do you always take care of me? You don't have to, and I never show you enough gratitude for it, but you always do. Even with the littlest things, you're just… there. I don't deserve it." she said, her tone thoughtful.

"Don't say that. Yes you do. You take care of everyone but yourself, so don't you say you don't deserve someone to take care of you." he said firmly, looking her straight in the eye.

"So… is that why? Because I don't have the time to take care of myself?"

Marshall shook his head. "No, no. It's more complicated than that. Um… are you sure you want to get into this?"

Mary squeezed his hand. "Hey. Fucked up psyche, remember? Nothing you say will phase me, promise. Lay it on me, come on."

Marshall sighed, and ran his free hand through his hair.

"Um, alright. Well you see, Mare… _Isortakindamaybeloveyou."_ He looked away, embarrassed.

She knew that he was hoping that she didn't understand what he said, but she was accustomed to all the oddities of Marshall's voice, and it rang out crystal clear.

"Really? Good. That makes this so much easier, then. Okay, I know that I'm a handful, and that I've never let on about my feelings, but since you've confirmed my suspicions about your feelings for me…"

Marshall looked back at her in question, only to find her lips suddenly meeting his.

The part of the old Mary that still survived danced with joy when, thought at first hesitant, he cupped her face and kissed her back, while the part of her that had wanted to crawl in a hole and die sulked in the corner of the recesses of her mind.

He was the one to pull away. "So, what you're saying is… You love me?" Marshall asked, and she could tell he was trying not to sound too hopeful. She nodded, and he smiled.

"So we can both stop crying now?" he asked, wiping away one last tear that she hadn't noticed fall. She nodded again, unable to speak.

She had opened up and let Marshall in, and now there was no going back. Now she could begin the journey to recovery.

_Fin._

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**Personally, I don't really like the ending, but I can't think of any other way to write it. Oh well, I hope you guys don't detest it. Anyway, lyrics!**

**"One For The Razorbacks"**

**Green Day**

**Juliet's trying to find out what she wants, but she don't know**

**Experience has got her down**

**Look this direction, I know it's not perfection, it's just me...**

**I want to bring you up again now**

**I'm losing what's left of my dignity**

**A small price to pay to see that you're happy**

**Forget all the disappointments you have faced**

_**Open up your worried world and let me in**_

**Juliet's crying cause now she's realizing love can be**

**Filled with pain and distrust**

**I know I am crazy, and a bit lazy**

**But I will try to bring you up again somehow.**

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End file.
